The Children's Bill of Rights
One day, my son came home from school
With this grin upon his face.
Thought he was smarter than me,
His Mom, and could put me in my place.
Guess what? I learned today about
THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS.
I don't have to clean my room,
I don't have to cut my hair.
No one tells me what I have to eat,
My freedom of speech is guaranteed.
It's my choice of what I read, or watch on TV.
I have freedom of religion, too,
And regardless of what you say,
I don't have to ask your God for help, no way.
I DON'T HAVE TO PRAY.
I can wear an earring in my ear
And if I want, can pierce my nose.
It is my choice if I so desire,
To tattoo Satan's numbers across my toes.
AND if you ever try to spank me,
I will charge you with the crime,
And I can back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind
Don't expect to touch me,
This body is only for my use,
Not for your hugs and your kisses and stuff,
That's just another form of child abuse.
HE CONTINUED with:
Now don't fill my head with morals,
Like your mama did to you,
That's what's called mind control,
And it's quite illegal too!
Mom, I have these children's rights,
You can't do a thing to me,
I can call Children's Services,
They're better known as CSD.
My first instinct was to show
This child of mine the door!
But this was my chance to teach him
A lesson andÉ oh, much more.
The next day we went shopping,
I'd called the CSD: they said they didn't
Mind or care if I bought him scummy shoes,
Or this year's matching modern pair.
There is no time, or snacks
To munch. Follow the CSD, and
Take advice. Do us all a favor by
Making YOURSELF a lunch.
So what if you're too hungry
To wait till dinnertime?
We are having liver and onions,
'Cause it's a favorite dish of mine.
Can we stop to find a movie,
And watch it on the VCR?
Oh my child! I sold the one in your
Room and purchased new tires for my car.
Fact is I also rented out your room,
As you don't strictly need the bed.
CSD says all that's required of me
Is to put a roof above your head.
But I can buy the childish clothes,
And healthy foods you eat.
Spare cash sums I have left, mine,
Will buy me something really neat.
It's no more eating after we shop,
No more joking along the way.
I, too have a BILL OF RIGHTS,
That comes into effect today!
Oh, what is the matter darling,
Are you crying? Praying down there on
Your knees? Are you asking God for help?
WHY NOT CALL THE CSD?